Your “first date” should be a true test of what you like, what you’re willing to try and, ultimately, what you’re ready for. Once you set that first date, it’ll help you determine what to do for future dates. Think of it like a restaurant. If a restaurant is too loud or doesn’t have great food, you’ll probably find yourself returning to the same place. And while it’s great to sample a new restaurant, you’ll probably want to choose the one that has great food and a quiet atmosphere.
The same applies to dating. Once you choose your first date, treat it like the first dinner you’re taking on for a new job—you can tell which restaurant suits you based on the first meal you have. If you liked it, then you’re more likely to keep going back. If you liked it but the server forgot your drink order, then you’re less likely to continue. So set a date that you feel comfortable with and is well suited to you, no matter what form it takes.
Here, 10 tips to help you find the perfect date.
1. Study the position
Each date starts and ends with safety, so make sure you bring a great car seat for the date (your car seat will also be a great signifier of how well you and the other person will get along). When you arrive at your date’s location, hold your purse and jacket over your shoulder to eliminate the possibility of any potential attack. Also, find out where the exits are in case of an emergency (or, better yet, plan to go to a place with a designated driver). If the restaurant is in a particularly busy area, request that your date make a brief entrance so you can be sure to be able to exit on your own if necessary.
When picking a restaurant for your first date, figure out how you’ll be seated and what form the date will take. If it’s a more casual restaurant, you can order drinks to share, stick to conversation topics from the first date itself, and ask the waiter to keep your food warm. But if the date’s at a fancy restaurant or if you know you’ll be eating, go for it. If you order the meal yourself, be sure to get the freshest dishes or, at the very least, ones that are as close to freshly prepared as possible.
2. Check the vibe
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We’re going to use an average of 10 to 20 dates before we decide if you’re a keeper. If you fall in love with someone early on, that might change—we’re willing to admit that if you really hit it off right away you can sometimes call it at any point in the game. We’re going to encourage you to take one date at a time and be open-minded, but you will need to decide for yourself when you’re ready to take the next step. So, here’s our how-to guide for dating today:
Before you Meet With a Prospect
1. Understand Your Motives
Most of us are looking for love, and you should go into dating with this goal in mind. But there are a lot of different reasons people use dating apps—it’s up to you to decide if your reasons for looking for a date are similar to theirs.
If you’re looking for a hookup, then you probably want to use casual dating apps. For example, you could use a service like swiped or spindr to set up a date with a stranger that you have no intention of seeing again, because a one-night stand is often just about the experience of being with someone who you never have to see again—even if you do end up falling in love. Many people also use dating apps to just be able to get laid. Many women will use apps that allow them to have sex with a random man without the need for any emotional commitment. If this is your goal, then use sites like grindr, kik or chappy.
If you’re looking to find someone who will eventually end up becoming a long-term relationship, use a dating app that is geared toward long-term dating. Either way, be clear about why you’re using the app and what you want out of it.
2. Set Your Standard
One of the most important things we want you to do is figure out what you want—and not get your hopes up for too much. If you want a serious relationship, don’t use apps like tinder or bumble—look for ones that are more geared toward long-term dating.
If you want a one-night stand, then use apps that are strictly casual. If you plan on doing this for the long-haul, pay attention to the photos you see of men—if they’re attractive, they’re likely to want something more than a quick hookup. Dating sites like OkC
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